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Death

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Death

Postby noorcasta on Sat Jul 16, 2016 6:36 pm

Is death, like everything, a constructed notion, existing only in its imagined opposition to life.
How do you cope with the death of a person you knew?
Is sorrow a sign of attachment?

My father died last month.

From nothing all beings as beings come to be. (Heidegger)
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Re: Deathttachmen

Postby Caodemarte on Sat Jul 16, 2016 7:01 pm

Deep condolences for your loss. I lost my own father years ago, and it hurts. Sorrow is not a sign of attachment, but is a natural, approrpriate emotion. No good Zen teacher would say that the goal of Zen training was to suppress your humanity.
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Re: Death

Postby partofit22 on Sat Jul 16, 2016 7:15 pm

Im very sorry to hear about the passing of your Dad. My own died decades ago and yet I still think of him often. Sorrow is a sign of heartache and the feeling of it is full and complete as each and every other seamless moments we experience as we breathe.
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Re: Death

Postby island on Sat Jul 16, 2016 8:19 pm

Loss is part of life, hurts, so grief is a part of life. How could humans live without "attachments"? What does sangha mean if we aren't supposed to become interdependent with others? How could a baby survive without attachment? Death is not in opposition to life; it is the natural course of life as soon as we are born. With every breath we die a little more until that breath stops.

Here is a quote I get as a daily Zen related reminder:

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could. Louise Erdrich
The way is to get out of the way of the way.
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Re: Death

Postby noorcasta on Sun Jul 17, 2016 3:04 am

It's beautiful what all you guys wrote - thank you.
My sorrow came easy and soft as fog.
I'm finding that whatever phenomenon a word was made for, is really made of something else, unnameable nothing that is not nothing. And so are our feelings, our perceptions, living the shadows.

From nothing all beings as beings come to be. (Heidegger)
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Re: Death

Postby desert_woodworker on Sun Jul 17, 2016 3:12 am

N.,

Condolences... .

Death is just what it is, and not only a notion.

Time heals. And scars may remain after healing, too.

Sorrow is a sign of connection.

_/\_ ,

--Joe
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Re: Death

Postby Avisitor on Sun Jul 17, 2016 5:26 am

noorcasta wrote:Is death, like everything, a constructed notion, existing only in its imagined opposition to life.
How do you cope with the death of a person you knew?
Is sorrow a sign of attachment?

My father died last month.

Very sorry for your loss. Condolences.

How does one cope?
Cope with the strength of every human being to continue to live this life the best you can.

Sorrow is not a sign of attachment.
Signs of attachment are more like not letting go
It is alright to grieve the loss of someone in your life
It is not alright to not let go of that person
Doesn't mean to not remember them
You will know the difference

Time should help ease the pain
And life should bring your focus upon other matters


Note: It is natural to feel attachment, love, belonging.
That isn't the same attachment of grasping onto something to not change.
Disclaimer: There is no intent to be offensive in my posts. None was intended and none should be interpreted as such.
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Re: Death

Postby Blissfulheart on Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:58 pm

Hello Noorcasta,

Truly, I'm very sorry to read about your father, and I feel your pain in my own heart. My dad, my hero, also passed away 2 years ago this month..... I feel very lucky to have had such a good man as my own father who loved me dearly. Some never get such a great gift.

Next, thank you for asking this question regarding Death because I wasn't very clear on how Zen Buddhism viewed death, attachment and sorrow , but the thoughtful posts from other wonderful Users was very helpful to read (Thank you, Everyone). My dad would tell me, " Death is part of life and natural. We all have to die." We know death is natural and necessary, but how can it not be a painful time for us?

Again, sending my thoughts and sincere condolences, Noorcasta.
Namaste
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Re: Death

Postby fukasetsu on Sun Jul 24, 2016 4:41 pm

noorcasta wrote:How do you cope with the death of a person you knew?


My condolences noorcasta.

For me (I lost my dad and aunt last year) death is not a sad event,
I see living beings but no personalities or individuals.
Despite differences in behaviour and appearances to me life is deathless,
so in the midst of appearing and disappearing nothing really happens.

It's natural to feel sorrow or miss someone ofcourse, as Joe observed, a sign of connection.

I wish you much strength dealing with your situation.
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Re: Death

Postby noorcasta on Tue Jul 26, 2016 6:37 am

Thank you all very much for your thoughtful words .....

I like you all.

From nothing all beings as beings come to be. (Heidegger)
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Re: Death

Postby Nonin on Tue Jul 26, 2016 3:37 pm

I am reminded of the following story:

A Zen Master was speaking the eulogy at the funeral of his oldest disciple. Right in the middle, he broke down in tears and couldn't continue. One of his youngest disciples was upset about this, and the next day, he confronted the Master and said: "You are supposed to be a Zen Master who has transcended life and death, why did you cry?" The Master replied, "He was my oldest and dearest disciple. If I don't cry now, when am I supposed to?"

Hands palm-to-palm,

Nonin
Soto Zen Buddhist Priest. Transmitted Dharma Heir of Dainin Katagiri Roshi.
Abbot and Head Teacher, Nebraska Zen Center / Heartland Temple, Omaha, Nebraska, USA
http://www.prairiewindzen.org
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