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Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby Gregory Wonderwheel on Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:27 am

After a good retreat, head on out to The Meditation Bar.

Why you do not understand is because the three carts were provisional for former times, and because the One Vehicle is true for the present time. ~ Zen Master 6th Ancestor Huineng
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby bokki on Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:15 am

LOL LOL LOl Gregory!!! LOl y u do that 2 me,,.,LOL !! thnx! thnx!

Linda :hugs:

every1, i think zfi is doing fine, i c just 1 prob, low participation in posting..
so, post a coma, full stop heya or a joke after my post
ill appreciate it
b
Another log on the fire,
10,000 frogs singing in the rain
burst into flames

-Linda Anderson, aka LA
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby Spike on Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:52 pm

Two professors, one from Oxford and the other from Cambridge, are punting down the Thames on a warm summer afternoon. They reach a secluded spot, secure their boat, and decide to sunbathe in the altogether.

After a while a mother and her daughter appear in another boat. As they approach, one teacher takes a copy of the newspaper he is sharing and covers his lap. The other covers his face. The boat passes by.

The first teacher says, I say old chap, wasn’t that a bit rude? I mean: why didn’t you cover your lap?” To which the other replied, “Because at Oxford, I’m rather better known by my face!”
……..
Mortified, the mother, turns to her daughter and says, “Oh dear, what a terrible spectacle! I hope you didn’t witness those two!”
And her daughter replies, “Well mummy, I don’t know about the chap with the paper on his lap, but the other was a teacher at my school!”
…….
Richard Harris told this joke on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson long ago.
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow. --R.H.
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby partofit22 on Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:33 pm

This has remained a favorite of mine .. raunchy but fun ..

CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff.
I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain.
I had to wave two people away who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers
when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.

CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.
The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !

CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

FRANK: - - - - - Mama?
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby bokki on Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:16 am

LOL LOL LOL partofit!!! d joke is so good!!!
a little dharma book!!
i reread it so many times!!!
and ur poems
u r a genius
LOL
THNX
Another log on the fire,
10,000 frogs singing in the rain
burst into flames

-Linda Anderson, aka LA
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby Caodemarte on Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:10 pm

Nice video. :PP:
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby bokki on Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:57 pm

lol lol lol d video is great!
but d joke is....
lol partofit! 10 ox-herding pics move over, here comes chili recipe by partofit!!
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

lol partofit, lol poor frank d yank...lol a good joke lol
Another log on the fire,
10,000 frogs singing in the rain
burst into flames

-Linda Anderson, aka LA
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bokki
 
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Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:06 pm

Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby bokki on Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:11 pm

lolLOL LOL
I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

LOL partofit!
Another log on the fire,
10,000 frogs singing in the rain
burst into flames

-Linda Anderson, aka LA
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby Spike on Thu Jul 20, 2017 12:00 am

Cf. Ten Stages of Drunkenness:

1. Witty & Charming
2. Rich and Powerful
3. Benevolent
4. Clairvoyant
5. Fuck Dinner
6. Patriotic
7. Crank up the Enola Gay
8. Witty & Charming, Part II
9. Invisible
10. Bulletproof

From Dan Jenkins novel/film Baja Oklahoma
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow. --R.H.
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby TTT on Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:46 am

Nice and cool video
When
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby fukasetsu on Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:16 pm

Spike wrote:Cf. Ten Stages of Drunkenness:

5. Fuck Dinner


:lol2: So True.

I can only relate to points 1,5 and 10.

Point 6/7 is an american thingy I think.
The Dutch 10 stages of drunkness would be different at certain stages,
but 1,5,10 seem pretty universal
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Re: Fun time at The Meditation Bar

Postby bokki on Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:26 pm

:heya:

-"Are you hearing voices inside your head?" (say no)
-"NO, Doctor!"
Another log on the fire,
10,000 frogs singing in the rain
burst into flames

-Linda Anderson, aka LA
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