New Letter of the Alphabet Discovered
English Philologists today have announced a major discovery, the first of its kind in millennia.
Using various research tools, a new letter of the alphabet has been discovered.
Speaking for the Society of Allied Philologists (SAP), Dr. Lirpa Loof announced today that there had been slight indications of the additional letter for some time, but last week incontrovertible signs made its existence certain. After confirmations by other philological societies worldwide, it is now possible to state with certainty that there are in fact 27 letters of the alphabet.
Again speaking on behalf of the SAP, Dr. Loof states that the new letter is located between the letters p and q.
The new letter has yet to be named, and committees worldwide have already begun deliberations and consultations as to what it will be called, and how written. Tech and IT groups plan to convene to deliberate and decide which ASCII code to assign to the new letter, in consultation with ISO and ANSI groups.
Implications of the new discovery are of course enormous.
All keyboards, as a result of the discovery, are now obsolete, and the "QWERTY" layout of keys on keyboards worldwide will need redesign. Typists will have to be retrained. Gregg Shorthand will need an update, and shall have to include a new scrawl.
With access to this new letter, poets should now be able to express even more, and perhaps with fewer words. Haiku writers should especially be favored by access and utilization of the new letter, although this is yet to be seen. Ticker symbols of publicly-traded companies in stock exchanges can now be more varied, and numerous, and this should boost business, and economies, worldwide. Parents will happily have many more names to choose from when they name their babies.
On the heels of this discovery, Shakespeare historians are now also collectively breathing a sigh of relief that the new letter was discovered only recently, and not before or during Shakespeare's time. Had the letter been known in Shakespeare's era, its presence would have resulted in that roomful of anonymous monkeys taking much longer to type all of Shakespeare, so much longer that they could not possibly have completed their task by the current time. Thus, Shakespeare might never have become known to the world. Or else, by the time he could become known, no one would understand such archaic speech any longer, so many millennia in the future would it be that the monkeys could possibly finish. Thus, the monkeys' writing would be considered gibberish, and Shakespeare would go unrecognized, no matter what.
This is a discovery with many "up" sides, and a few down sides.
Until redesigned keyboards can be manufactured, interim solutions are being considered. Probably, a one-button USB peripheral will be released to augment any obsolete keyboard, so that owners of all today's obsolete computers and keyboards can invoke and include the new letter in any typing they do, just by leaning to the side and tapping the single- character key plugged into their machine's USB port when needed to include it in text.
Some hackers are considering "re-purposing" the "Z" key on keyboards, but Zen Buddhists and Zoroastrians can be counted on to object to such disrespectful tinkering, on religious grounds (and Zymurgists, on rather tipsy grounds).
A final word from Dr. Lirpa Loof was, "Please interview me again next week, and I will be sure to use the new letter in our conversation at that time. Oh, and be certain you've upgraded your keyboard by then, so you can quote me correctly."
--Joe (Reporting from U.S.A. / Some Rights reversed)
My lucky day! Coming soon to a calendar near you/us.
(nice Transit of Mercury across the Sun seen from here yesterday; perfect weather/sky conditions for it).
I have a doctor's appointment today- Been having trouble with me gallbladder, so they think- I can't seem to find a balanced diet for my now over half a century old body!! I apologize for complaining about the French cheese I ate, stating that it was bad when it actually might have been my gallbladder as the cause of the digestationalizedtraumas I experienced after eating it- Perhaps I need to eat a new letter of the alphabet -- with a forked stick, at half past friday the 13th, near a southward flowing crick, while experiencing atavism ..
Thanks for restoring the good name of cheese, Teresa
Best wishes at the doctor I hope they find something workable, if this would be my mom speaking instead of me she would immediately offer you some reflexology (she never was allowed to use it on me though, I am my own alternative)
What is a digestationalized trauma?
Mijn Oude Vriend uit de woestijn begrijpt geen Nederlands. <3
And I would accept-
I have no idea what it is .. and the doctor didn't either-
Yes, and no
Today is Saturday the fourteenth
Rain yesterday and rain today
Yesterday, the car's brake locked up.
Took it to the mechanic.
Master cylinder broke as well as five brake lines leaking
Replaced most of the braking system ... costing a fortune (much more than the value of the car)
Yeah, just knew it was coming.
Get those feelings
Next, I suspect a friend will soon get a Cancer diagnosis.
It is just life.
See it for what it is.
Nothing special .. .. everyone suffers from digestive discomfort -- some more than others ..
Yes it becomes special when one has intimate knowledge of it
Suffer? Do you suffer from it?
Everyone may have it to some degree
But not everyone suffers from it
Suffering and joy exist in all phenomena-
I would believe as a Zen practitioner that you would know that suffering is a choice
You can choose to suffer from your ailments or to go beyond them.
Well, I'll let you suffer if that is what you want???
Of course. But how does one go beyond suffering if one werent suffering to begin with?
I don't know.
Guess one must redefine suffering
Or view it in a different way
Maybe all of life is suffering??
It doesn't appear to be-
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